So we’ve just moved house. The delay in posting is down to my time being spent unpacking, decorating and building furniture. I feel absolutely exhausted and having only just started stripping the bedroom walls am still a way off having my sanctuary to relax in. I’m quite excited about my new bedroom furniture coming though. Initially I really wanted this bed:-
-with Stocks for the footplate but the room isn’t huge and I was worried the footplate would make the room seem smaller. Anyway I’ve settled for a very chunky solid timber bed with lower foot end which we plan on making a few special adjustments to!! I’ll be sure to post some pictures once we complete it and if anyone has any DIY ideas I’d love to hear about them. xxxx
When I started this blog it was meant to be more than just about sex and submission but I guess those topics have been my focus lately. So I thought I’d take some time out and think about the things my partner does for me that are non-sexual but have the power to bring me to my knees. 😉
1. Listen – Okay I admit this one can be annoying too when he reminds me of things I said in passing over a year ago which negate my current argument but it does make me feel warm and fuzzy to know he was really listening and considers everything that I say to be worth remembering.
2. Make me laugh – No matter how lousy I’m feeling he always finds a way to get through to me and make me feel better.
3. Make me angry – Unusual but he understands my emotions better than me sometimes and knows when I struggle to express myself that he can draw me out by pushing my buttons.
4. Take care of me – Whether it be making me feel protected when we’re out at night or running me a bubble bath when I’ve had a bad day.
5. Stand up to me – As a sexual submissive I guess it’s only natural that I like this one because in spite of how frustrated I can get sometimes it does thrill me when I see the dominant side to him in any situation.
6. Comfort me – Holding me in his arms and saying nothing. Understanding that sometimes I need to figure it out in my own head before I can fully express it to him and being patient in spite of that making him feel frustrated.
7. Do Chores – I love the way he smells so any excuse to get him working in the garden definitely excites me.
8. Be Silly – I get to see his strong side, his emotional side, his stressed side and his fun side but I only really learned about his silly side after we had our daughter. The way he is so patient and imaginative, making up silly games with her make me love him more every day.
9. Watch me – Okay I get that sounds strange and stalkerish but I like knowing that when we’re out in public and I’m over the other side of the room talking to friends his eyes always find me no matter what he’s doing and who he’s talking to. He always makes me feel like I’m the most important person there as far as he’s concerned.
I can’t decide what order to put these in because it changes depending upon what I need at any one time but I’ve really enjoyed writing it out and spending the time thinking about him and our relationship.
“It’s hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That’s part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can’t refuse anything and can’t even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.”
― Cherise Sinclair, Dark Citadel
I came across the above quote the other day and this for me is one of the absolute joys of submission. I am the most confident, independent and in control woman in every other aspect of my life and I find it so hard to let go of all the stress and baggage which comes with that but through submission I find my bliss.
I consider myself fairly flexible in terms of my sex life; my major rules are:-
Beyond that I’m prepared to try most things, I’ve done things with some partners which I haven’t with others and there isn’t anything I feel like I have to be doing in order to have a fulfilling sexual relationship but I do love being spanked.
It’s a minor thing, fairly vanilla and I’ve never met a man who was uncomfortable with it, although I have met several who haven’t been comfortable spanking me as hard and for as long as I need to get that release you can only achieve through submission, and it turns out I’m not alone. So to all those would be spankees out there who aren’t receiving the treatment they truly desire, let me give you some advice. Communicate. Describe it to your partner; how does it make you feel, before, during and after? What does it give you that other sexual acts don’t? What do you need from them? How do you want to be spanked? What do you like to be spanked with?
I like to lie across my partners knee with my hands pinned behind my back with one of his hands while he spanks me with the other. He pauses briefly with me in that position, exposed, my heart beating ever so slightly faster and my stomach clenching with nerves. Excited, wanton, eager, afraid and vulnerable.
I want to put my trust in him completely, for him to take control away from me, to decide how much I can take and for how long and to give myself to him without reservation.
Then it starts, his hand briefly cupping the curve of my arse before it comes cracking down on me, my body jumping in shock and fear of the pain but exhilarated at the same time. I’m so aware of the strength of his body holding me in place as I wriggle against him, the pressure building as he brings his hand down upon me faster and harder. Cries escape my lips interspersed with gasps as my body panics, afraid it can’t take anymore. I struggle harder as the tension builds but if he slides his fingers down between my thighs then he knows I want more.
With his final cuffs I cry out louder and collapse against him, lightheaded, crying, my body tingling, my thighs wet with need. It sounds like an orgasm and in many ways it feels like an orgasm, but it’s different, more intense and less satisfying. It creates a deep need inside of me. I feel so vulnerable, I want him to hold me, to kiss me, to love me and to make love to me but at the same time I feel so relaxed and free. Lighter, less burdened by the stresses of the day. Submission allows me to let go, not just of control but of all the negativity and drama of the day that I was holding onto, unable to release through other means. It’s strangely therapeutic.
Avete presente quegli scomodi abiti vittoriani? Quelli con la gonna che strascica un po' per terra, gonfiata sul di dietro dalla tournure? Quelli con i corsetti strettissimi e i colletti alti che solleticano il collo? Ecco. Io non vorrei indossare altro.