“It isn’t about the dominance for me, it’s about the submission. Don’t get me wrong I love being dominated too and I need a strong character to submit to but it’s more of a turn on for me if it isn’t forced. If I make the choice to submit completely to your will. I don’t need to be chained. Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you. That’s my gift to you; my submission.”
I always thought of myself as a feminist but there are days where I no longer fully understand what that even means. To me the essence of feminism was about giving women a choice and celebrating that choice whatever it may be. My Mum was a stay at home mum, she was there every day when I came home from school, it was what she wanted and I believe it gave me the structure I needed when I was younger and benefited the family as a whole. It was what worked best for us then. I on the other hand have been to University (twice – I like to learn!) and have worked for most of my adult life. The reason I stopped working was to take care of my family, it became impractical to work while my Mum was undergoing cancer treatment and I had young children at home. As Mum has improved though I feel a sense of judgement.
“When are you going back to work?”
“You can’t sit around and do nothing you know!”
“Do you really want to be one of those stay at home mums who doesn’t have a life?”
“You’re better than that?”
All comments that I have had thrown at me recently and I began to wonder at what point did we stop celebrating a woman’s right to choose and decide it was okay to judge each other for not doing everything? There is no way I could have taken care of my family, taken my Mum to the hospital daily and worked a full time job and I was incredibly lucky that I was in a position where I didn’t have to but at what point did putting your family first make you open to judgement. Looking through the jobs pages I see so many openings for carers, babysitters, cleaners and it occurs to me that you didn’t see as many positions advertised because that was what women did, unpaid and largely unappreciated. Telling a woman that she isn’t good enough and that she should be doing more is not what feminism is about. Yes there are still feminist issues to be addressed. When women do the same work and cover the same hours as their male counterparts they deserve the same wage for it but I find myself wanting to fight for it less and less because I see so many self proclaimed feminists who don’t seem to understand what the word means and I don’t want to be associated with them. I don’t want to be a feminist if it means judging other women for not making the same choices as me, I do not wish to celebrate my femininity by belittling men and I don’t want to feel like I’m failing because I can’t fulfil all these different roles and be as successful as I would want to be in them.
I love men. I like knowing I have my partners love and support at the end of the day. That he cherishes me and wants to care for me as I want to care for him. I expect him to respect me as I respect him. I like it when he holds the door open for me. Not because he thinks I’m incapable of opening a door but out of courtesy and I like taking care of him in return. I want my partner to feel loved and respected in our relationship and I expect him to make me feel the same way. Working day Bella is very different to After Hours Bella. I can be in charge in all other areas of my life but when at home with my partner I need him to take charge so that I can let go and I trust him to care for me and make the right choices for us during that time. I get to release all the stress of my day and he takes it all on and deals with it for me. I definitely get the better end of that deal!
I support a woman’s rights to choose whatever path they wish to take in their lives. I celebrate the differences between the sexes and I will work hard to succeed at all my own endeavors while supporting those in my life. I am a feminist!
I think I have a narcissistic foot fetish! I find this picture incredibly erotic. Other people’s feet don’t usually interest me in the slightest but I love going for a pedicure and having my feet played with afterwards and more importantly watching my feet being played with. Having an urge right now to bring Sir off later using just my feet!
So it’s my birthday in a couple of weeks and I really want some pretty nipple clamps but I’m struggling to find them. I think the problem is I can picture them so well in my mind and they don’t actually exist so I may yet have to look into having some specially made? I’m not sure how often jewellery designers get asked about this type of product in my local area so that could be fun!
The problem is I want them to be pretty like this:-
but with a proper clamp on the end, like this:-
But I can only find them with the chunky chains like the ones I have currently. I don’t know if there’s a problem with having them on a lighter chain or if there just isn’t much call for them??
Any UK recommendations would be highly appreciated!!!
So we’ve just moved house. The delay in posting is down to my time being spent unpacking, decorating and building furniture. I feel absolutely exhausted and having only just started stripping the bedroom walls am still a way off having my sanctuary to relax in. I’m quite excited about my new bedroom furniture coming though. Initially I really wanted this bed:-
-with Stocks for the footplate but the room isn’t huge and I was worried the footplate would make the room seem smaller. Anyway I’ve settled for a very chunky solid timber bed with lower foot end which we plan on making a few special adjustments to!! I’ll be sure to post some pictures once we complete it and if anyone has any DIY ideas I’d love to hear about them. xxxx
When I started this blog it was meant to be more than just about sex and submission but I guess those topics have been my focus lately. So I thought I’d take some time out and think about the things my partner does for me that are non-sexual but have the power to bring me to my knees. 😉
1. Listen – Okay I admit this one can be annoying too when he reminds me of things I said in passing over a year ago which negate my current argument but it does make me feel warm and fuzzy to know he was really listening and considers everything that I say to be worth remembering.
2. Make me laugh – No matter how lousy I’m feeling he always finds a way to get through to me and make me feel better.
3. Make me angry – Unusual but he understands my emotions better than me sometimes and knows when I struggle to express myself that he can draw me out by pushing my buttons.
4. Take care of me – Whether it be making me feel protected when we’re out at night or running me a bubble bath when I’ve had a bad day.
5. Stand up to me – As a sexual submissive I guess it’s only natural that I like this one because in spite of how frustrated I can get sometimes it does thrill me when I see the dominant side to him in any situation.
6. Comfort me – Holding me in his arms and saying nothing. Understanding that sometimes I need to figure it out in my own head before I can fully express it to him and being patient in spite of that making him feel frustrated.
7. Do Chores – I love the way he smells so any excuse to get him working in the garden definitely excites me.
8. Be Silly – I get to see his strong side, his emotional side, his stressed side and his fun side but I only really learned about his silly side after we had our daughter. The way he is so patient and imaginative, making up silly games with her make me love him more every day.
9. Watch me – Okay I get that sounds strange and stalkerish but I like knowing that when we’re out in public and I’m over the other side of the room talking to friends his eyes always find me no matter what he’s doing and who he’s talking to. He always makes me feel like I’m the most important person there as far as he’s concerned.
I can’t decide what order to put these in because it changes depending upon what I need at any one time but I’ve really enjoyed writing it out and spending the time thinking about him and our relationship.