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I’ve been pondering this question a lot lately and I’m struggling to find an answer.  There have been elements of sexual submission that have appealed to me from my first sexual relationship and naturally that has developed as I’ve tried new things.  I’ve never felt as if there were particular acts that I had to include in order to have a fulfilling sexual relationship but recently I find my sexual response to be far more intense if an element of pain is included.  It doesn’t have to be much, spanking, flogging, the use of nipple clamps is something I particularly enjoy right now but will this evolve further and at some point will I feel these things have to be included in order to feel fulfilled sexually.  Am I becoming more masochistic as I get older? and what does that even mean?

Web definitions
  1. someone who obtains pleasure from receiving punishment


If there wasn’t a part of me that obtained pleasure from punishment then I surely wouldn’t allow myself to be in a relationship where my partner was allowed to punish me.  Does that make all submissives masochists?

I can hear cries from submissives reading this saying no absolutely not but then at what point is the balance between pleasure and pain just right for it to be described as masochism?  Does there have to be an emotional element?  I’m not okay with humiliation.  Does more extensive physical damage need to occur? I’m definitely not okay with being cut.  Neither of those things is specifically stated when defining masochism though so how do you decide?

Finally, if masochism is simply the act of obtaining pleasure from pain then why is it seen as such a perversion even by some in submissive relationships who receive punishment.  It seems far more perverse to be in a relationship where you allow that but gain no pleasure from it.